1. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore
marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man
loses
his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets
her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to
a restaurant with friends. You order what you want,
and when you see what the other person has,
you wishyou had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the
church and found himself married. A year later he
muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and
taking;the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that inancient
China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son,
EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the
alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love; after marriage it isself-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know
why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy,
we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go
through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America,
the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides
of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still
stay together.
19. Marriage is man and woman becoming one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After the marriage the 'Y' becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than
single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I had it all -money,
a beautiful house, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow!
it was all gone. what happened, asked his friend.
He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do,
leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG
FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM. I MARRIED
THE WRONG MAN.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes
his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred of letters
and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE
MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his
wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is
new or the wife is.
